About a decade ago, I went for a walk along the beach with my family. I live in Devon and am really lucky to be right by the sea. The day was warm, perfect for T-shirts, and thinking back to it now, the blue sea would have been sparkling. The sand would have been soft, and there would have been a gentle sound of the waves lapping up against the shore. Seagulls might well have flown overhead, and a gentle breeze probably brushed my skin, but I can’t say for sure. I was too caught up in my thoughts to notice or appreciate any of these things.
At this time in my life, I was spending a LOT of time overthinking, worrying about what other people thought of me, analysing conversations I’d had, essentially trying to be a mind reader! I was constantly comparing myself to others too, and feeling like I was never quite good enough. It felt like I had a natural talent for focusing on all my flaws! And to top it all off, I felt stressed out by every work email appearing in my inbox.
And I felt guilty too! Guilty because I had a lovely husband, amazing children, a comfortable home, and a fulfilling job as a teacher (although it may be more accurate to replace ‘fulfilling’ with ‘stressful’). I basically had everything that I’d ever really wanted. But I was struggling to actually enjoy this ‘happy’ life I’d worked so hard to create!
I felt SO frustrated with myself, because I didn’t know how to change the way I was feeling, and it felt like life was passing me by in a bit of a haze. I couldn’t shake off the stress, the self-doubt and overthinking. I couldn’t fully enjoy my life. And that was all I actually wanted. To enjoy my life. To enjoy my family. To be fully present for them, to be there for them. To stop overthinking. To stop letting all the negative thoughts get the better of me. Ultimately, we only get one life, and I’d always fully intended to enjoy mine!
I don’t think anyone outside of my inner circle of family or friends would have had any idea how I was feeling. We can all be so good at keeping up appearances! You never really know for sure what’s going on in someone else’s mind. But actually, I felt pretty rubbish.
Up until this point, I’d always been quite dismissive of anything that was meant to help me. I believed that I should be able to manage on my own. However, my desire to feel better than I did began to outweigh my desire to be seen as ‘fine.’ So, when my mum suggested that I go see a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist, I think I was probably so worn out by all the overthinking that I didn’t even try to argue or make excuses about why I didn’t need to.
And so, I committed to having a few sessions of Solution Focused Hypnotherapy. I really had no idea what to expect, but I really, really wanted to feel better than I did. The sessions with my hypnotherapist, were actually really pleasant. In the first part of each session, we talked, but only about nice things. I didn’t have to analyse myself or talk about negatives—we focused on what had been good about my week, what I wanted to feel like moving forward, and what difference it would make to my life. The second part of each session was the hypnosis part, which it turned out was basically just me sitting in a comfy chair, closing my eyes and relaxing while my hypnotherapist talked for a while, and my mind wandered and sometimes I was focused on what he was saying and sometimes I wasn’t listening at all. But I really enjoyed the experience. And my goodness, the difference it made! After only seven or eight sessions, I felt so much happier, so much better able to handle stressful things. I felt excited by my life again. I felt really present! And my family undoubtedly benefited too.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy changed my life, but the reality was that my circumstances hadn’t needed to change in order for me to feel so much better. Family life was still a juggling act, and work remained challenging at times. What HAD changed was my experience of it. My thoughts and feelings had transformed. There’s so much in the world that we can’t control, but we can change how we respond to it. Solution Focused Hypnotherapy had helped me to change the way I felt, and I was able to truly enjoy my life again.
And the reason I wanted to share this with you is that I want you to know if you feel stressed and overwhelmed, you are not alone. If you are struggling with anxiety or low mood, you are not the only one. But I also really want you to know that change is possible when you really want it and when you are ready. When we realise that about 95% of our thoughts and feelings come from our subconscious mind, it makes sense that we haven’t been able to alter the way we think and feel by conscious will alone. Using hypnosis to access the subconscious offers a much better chance of making positive shifts. If you would like to find out more about how Solution Focused Hypnotherapy could help you achieve the changes that you would like, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.